


Beavis and Butthead in the forces of Chaos

by MA7



Category: Beavis and Butt-head, Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-07 12:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11623626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MA7/pseuds/MA7
Summary: Beavis and Butthead set loose onboard a chaos battleship in the 40k universe.





	1. Chapter 1

Beavis and Butthead in the forces of chaos.

A surprisingly compatible crossover.

Chapter 1

Chaos lost and the damned teenagers Beavis and Butthead sat around giggling on a grimy couch in front of a staticky display monitor. They were in a grimy apartment in the flagship of Night Lords Chaos Lord Luke Sevenson and were supposed to be at work cleaning the filthy cadaver choked walkways with the rest of their labor group. They were instead both admiring their new 8 pointed star chaos undivided tattoos on their arms.

"Hu hu hu, hey check out my awesome tattoo Butthead," Beavis said happily.

"Uh hu hu, huhu you dill hole. It's supposed to have 8 points huhu, you only have 7 butt dumpling hu hu hu." Butthead replied.

"Hey shut up fart knocker! It does to have 8 see, 1 2 3 4 5 uh 6 uh 8, see 8!" Beavis argued.

"Hu hu, you forgot number 7 you fart jerker, hu hu hu, you only have 7," Butthead laughed.

Beavis counted again, "oh yeah... Um, hu hu hu, well you have 9 points on yours fart burglar!" 

"Uh, hu hu, oh yeah hu hu hu, that sucks." Butthead chuckled.

"Hu hu hu yeah, I can just add another point but you have too many dill hole!" Beavis exclaimed triumphantly.

"Shut up fart knocker! I'll kick your ass," Butthead retorted.

A fight quickly ensued as the pair of imbeciles hit and kicked each other. After a while they stopped fighting and dusted themselves off.

"Uh, this sucks, let's go find a dead body to poke." Beavis suggested.

"Hu hu yeah, let's poke it's butt," Butthead chuckled.

The pair left the apartment, completely forgetting that they were supposed to be at work and instead wandered aimlessly about the massive chaos battleship. The place was poorly lit and absolutely filthy, in desperate need of morons like Beavis and Butthead to actually do their jobs.

After walking for a while they found a chaos spawn with 3 heads and 18 pairs of huge testicles. The chaos spawn was busily licking it's many testicles clean.

"He he he, it's licking its balls, hu hu," Beavis laughed in fascination.

"Uh hu hu hu, hu hu hu hu hu," Butthead chuckled.

"Hu hu hu, lick em! Lick em all! Hu hu hu," Beavis excitedly laughed.

For 5 minutes the pair just stood laughing moronically watching the chaos spawn lick it's impressive number of balls, it was the most entertaining thing they had ever seen.

Eventually the chaos spawn decided that it's balls were clean enough and it shambled off. The pair followed it for a while, laughing at it's many dangling testicles.

The chaos spawn walked to a walkway choked with fresh cadavers and started to enthusiastically eat them.

"Cool!" Beavis exclaimed excitedly at this act.

"Hu hu, woah! Hu hu, ball spawn is awesome!" Butthead agreed.

"Can we keep him?" Beavis asked.

Before Butthead could answer a ditsy slutty female voice said, "nice of you to finally show up to work. Where are your overalls?"

The pair turned around and they giggled excitedly to see their adult coworker, a busty curvy blond Slaanesh worshipping slut named Candy, in filthy work overalls and holding a mop.

"Hu hu, hey Candy, that spawn has 18 pairs of balls!" Beavis told the busty nymphomaniac excitedly.

Candy purred erotically in appreciation.

"Uh, hu hu, hey baby, uh, wanna like, do it?" Butthead said, trying his best to hit on Candy.

Candy dubiously looked Butthead up and down distastefully and said, "I don't often say this, but for once I think I will pass. My standards are really low, but not THAT low!"

"Hu hu hu, even Candy won't sleep with you fart knocker, and she sleeps with anyone, hu hu hu," Beavis mocked Butthead.

"Shut up ass wipe!" Butthead said and punched Beavis.

The hot Slaanesh nymphomaniac watched as the pair had a fight with each other, she really wasn't impressed by these bottom crawling morons. Candy got bored and returned to mopping the filthy floor, letting the morons fight.

"Uh hu hu, look, ball spawn is licking his balls again!" Beavis exclaimed excitedly.

The pair stopped fighting and stood laughing as they gazed at the chaos spawn. All around them were coworkers doing the job they themselves should also be doing, but all that entered their tiny minds was the hilarious spectacle of the chaos spawn licking its balls.

Eventually the chaos spawn stopped and wandered off, and Beavis and Butthead eagerly followed it, ignoring their exasperated coworkers. 

The chaos spawn wandered into the cathedral sized throne room of Chaos Lord Luke Sevenson and the pair eagerly followed it inside. The giant room contained many servants of various roles, a number of chaos space marines, the Chaos Lord himself wearing ornate Terminator armour covered in runes of Khorne in his throne, and at his feet was a gorgeous naked concubine.

"Hey look, naked chick!" Beavis pointed out, noticing only the naked woman out of the extremely dangerous group of other people.

"YES!" Butthead cheered.

The pair ran up to the concubine at the foot of the throne and immediately started hitting on her.

The exquisitely beautiful Slaanesh worshipping concubine blinked in surprise as a pair of grotty teenage boys dared to make sexual advances on the personal concubine of the Chaos Lord right in front of him.

"Hey baby, wanna do it?" Butthead asked the bewildered woman.

The Chaos Lord grunted in irritation and the foolish pair gazed up at him with dim eyes and got excited.

"Hey, hey look it's the Chaos Lord!" Beavis exclaimed excitedly.

"Hu hu, yeah, he's awesome." Butthead said enthusiastically.

"Hu hu hu, space marines are really cool, I wonder how many people he has killed today?" Beavis added jubilantly.

The Chaos Lord rumbled, "today I have killed 51 people. I'm about to kill two more."

"Cool!" Butthead excitedly exclaimed.

"Hu hu, that's awesome, can we watch?" Beavis added.

The Chaos Lord snorted with laughter despite himself and told them that they had the biggest balls he had ever seen.

"Hu hu hu, he said balls, uh hu hu," Butthead chuckled.

"Hu hu, yeah, balls hu hu, he said balls, uh hu hu," Beavis agreed.

Several of the chaos space marines exchanged glances.

"What brings you to my throne room?" The Chaos Lord asked.

"We are following ball spawn, hu hu," Beavis said, which confused the Chaos Lord.

"Who is Ball Spawn?" The terrible Chaos Lord rumbled in his deep threatening voice.

"Hu hu hu, he's that chaos spawn over there, uh hu hu, he has 18 pairs of balls hu hu hu-hu," Beavis explained, pointing to Ball Spawn.

The pair started laughing moronically as they saw that ball spawn was once again licking his balls. The Chaos Lord and his space marines were all exchanging looks now and snorting with laughter at the idiocy of the pair.

"You boys have made me laugh, for that I won't kill you." The Chaos Lord told them with snorts of deep laughter.

A chaos space marine grabbed Ball Spawn and put a collar and leash on him and dragged the uncooperative creature to Beavis and Butthead and handed them the leash.

Butthead took the leash and Ball Spawn immediately bolted out of the throne room dragging Butthead behind him. Beavis ran after them, to the laughter of the Chaos Lord.

A while later the pair were back home, laughing moronically as their new pet "Ball Spawn" energetically licked it's many testicles. They still hadn't remembered to go to work and had achieved very little today.

"Today was AWESOME!" Beavis exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah, we saw a naked chick hu hu, that was cool." Butthead agreed.

***


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2(BB)

Beavis and Butthead mopped the floor unenthusiastically alongside the rest of their labor group, work really sucks. For a relatively short time they had been mopping and already they were bored.

"Uh, this sucks Butthead." Beavis exclaimed.

"Yeah, work sucks", Butthead agreed.

"You have only been here for 10 minutes!" Their busty coworker Candy exclaimed in exasperation.

"Uh," Butthead replied uncertain what to say.

For a few minutes they continued before losing focus once more.

"This sucks", Butthead said.

"For Slaanesh sake, what is so hard about mopping a floor for 15 minutes? I do this every day, it's not complicated!" Candy reprimanded them.

Candy was getting really irritated, the labor group had a lot of work to do today and the pair of imbeciles were not pulling their weight.

10 hours later Candy was at her wits end as the labor shift ended, Beavis and Butthead had completely driven her nuts. She desperately needed to unwind.

"Hey baby, wanna do it, huh huh huh?" Butthead asked Candy.

Candy made a sound of disgust and stormed off to get away from the pair.

"Huh huh, Candy is really cool, huh huh," Beavis said with moronic happiness.

"Uh huh huh huh, yeah, huh huh, she's hot huh huh," Butthead agreed.

"Huh huh, I once saw her boobs huh huh, it was cool," Beavis said excitedly.

"No you didn't ass wipe," Butthead challenged.

"Did too fart knocker! It was at a Slaanesh worshipper festival parade, she had her boobs out." Beavis insisted.

"Huh huh, Slaanesh chicks are cool, uh huh huh," Butthead chuckled.

"Huh huh yeah, Slaanesh is cool." Beavis agreed.

A look of intense thought appeared on Butthead's face.

"We should follow Candy, maybe huh huh, maybe we will get to see her boobs huh huh huh," Butthead said.

"That's a really good idea Butthead uh huh huh," Beavis agreed.

The chuckling pair followed behind Candy from a distance, watching her enter one of the unisex communal shower blocks. Candy greeted an attractive looking man at the entrance to the shower and kissed him enthusiastically before entering the shower hand in hand with the man.

"Uh huh huh, cool, huh huh huh, their gonna do it huh huh huh," Butthead laughed.

"Uh huh huh, I wanna see! Huh huh, I wanna do Candy too!" Beavis exclaimed in agitation.

"Huh huh, yeah, Candy is a Slaanesh slut, she will do both of us, uh huh huh," Butthead predicted.

The pair entered the shower block and gazed in wonder at all the naked people. The shower lacked cubicles or privacy, the water sprayed down constantly from the ceiling at a set temperature and the people just showered under in groups. Candy and the man had taken off their clothes and were wrapped in each other's arms standing kissing under one of the shower nozzles in the ceiling.

Beavis and Butthead made a rapid excited giggling noise as they watched in fascination. The man was washing Candy's body for her and she turned around to let him soap up her back.

"BOOBS!" Beavis exclaimed in feverish excitement.

"Yes!" Butthead cheered jubilantly.

Candy heard the noise, saw them and frantically covered herself with a scream.

"Uh, HEY! Stop covering them up!" Butthead demanded indignantly.

"YEAH! We wanna see your boobs! Show em to us!" Beavis feverishly demanded.

The naked man Candy was with walked towards them with an angry expression.

"Uh, not you, cover yourself up! Uh, we don't wanna see a guy naked!" Butthead told the man fearfully.

"Argh NO! Get his willy away from me! Uh I just looked at it, NO!" Beavis added.

The man reached them and beat them both up and threw them out of the shower block. The pair landed heavily and coughed, twitching in pain before eventually sitting up.

"Ow, huh huh, we saw Candy's boobs," Beavis said happily.

"Huh huh, yeah, huh huh, boobs are cool." Butthead agreed.

"Huh huh, we saw her naked, uh huh huh," Beavis chuckled.

"Um, uh, let's go back in and see her boobs again." Butthead suggested.

"That's a really good idea Butthead," Beavis agreed and the pair foolishly wandered back into the shower block.

***

Several beatings later the pair were still following Candy everywhere she went. Candy's various boyfriends (like many Slaanesh worshippers she had several) had been beating up the pair nonstop but they were too stupid to take a hint that this was a bad idea.

They had followed Candy into a disco, a night club, a temple of Slaanesh and even into the ladies bathroom. They were absolutely implacable.

"Hey Candy, how about you and I..." Butthead began before the burly man Candy was with punched him in the stomach.

"Huh huh, that was cool. Uh huh huh," Beavis said and the man punched him as well.

Candy sighed in defeat and said, "what do I have to do to make you leave me alone?"

"We want to do it with you, huh huh, that would be cool." Beavis said cheerfully.

"Oh for Slaanesh sake, are you boys even old enough enough to do that?!" Candy asked incredulously.

"Huh huh, I'm 15," Beavis said cheerfully.

"I'm, uh, I'm 21," Butthead lied unconvincingly.

"Argh, I am so sick of hearing your voices! Just leave me alone!" Candy screamed at them.

The pair seemed unshakable in their desire to sleep with Candy and she sighed in defeat, "fine... make it quick."

20 minutes later Candy was feeling squeamish in Beavis and Butthead's grimy bedroom. The pair didn't have actual beds, merely reeking piles of insect infested filthy rags on the floor that acted as mattresses. She didn't want to touch anything in this place with her bare skin, especially not the pair of moronic teenagers.

"One of my ex boyfriends was a devout Nurgle worshipper... His place was less disgusting than this... and he had better personal hygiene..." Candy said, holding back her puke.

The pair were stripped down to their grimy white underpants and were fighting over who went first.

"She's mine bung hole!" Beavis shouted.

"No way, I go first fart dumpling!" Butthead shouted in response.

"I saw her first!" Beavis argued.

Candy buried her face in her hands, this pair was making the low standards nymphomaniac consider taking a vow of celibacy.

Candy felt something hump her leg and looked down to see the pair's disturbing pet "Ball Spawn". Candy smiled, finally something high enough for her extremely low standards.

Beavis and Butthead gazed in stunned silence as Ball Spawn stole their girl, too mesmerised to look away.

"Huh huh huh, look at Ball Spawn go, uh huh huh," Beavis said cheerfully.

"Huh huh, yeah, I can see his balls huh huh huh huh huh huh," Butthead laughed joyfully.

***

Beavis and Butthead laughed nonstop as they watched Ball Spawn lick his many balls. Candy had slipped out without having to sleep with either of them and the pair had been so busy watching Ball Spawn lick himself that they hadn't even noticed her leave.

"Huh huh huh, he's licking his balls, huh huh huh," Butthead chuckled.

"Huh huh yeah, Ball Spawn is licking his balls, huh huh huh huh huh," Beavis agreed.

"Yeah, Ball Spawn is cool," Butthead added.

"Huh huh huh, lick lick lick, lick your balls Ball Spawn, huh huh huh, lick em all uh huh huh," Beavis cheered their pet on.

"Uh huh huh yeah... Uh, I feel like we forgot something really important," Butthead said thinking.

"Um, yeah I think, uh, were we supposed to be at work or something?" Beavis asked.

"Uh, we were already at work today fart knocker," Butthead replied.

"Oh, oh yeah, uh huh huh. Did we have to do something?" Beavis asked.

"Um, I don't know, huh huh, look, Ball Spawn is licking his butt hole now, uh huh huh huh." Butthead said.

Beavis chuckled, Ball Spawn was indeed.

***


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3(BB)

In the dim romantic gloom of the dungeon-like interior of a temple of Slaanesh a Chaos Terminator sat on a black leather bench, smiling lustfully at a latex clad woman on his lap. She was an exquisite creature, clad neck to toe in skin tight black latex, her head topped by a black leather commissar's hat and with a provocative smile on her ruby red lips.

The exquisite Slaaneshi woman repeatedly swatted the Terminator's bare face gently with a black leather riding crop, exciting him terribly.

The pair's eyes gazed into each other and they spontaneously leaned their faces in close for a romantic kiss...

"Uh ha ha ha, she's going to spank his monkey, uh ha ha ha."

The amorous pair trembled with irritation at this unwelcome interruption and turned their heads to see a pair of grotty teenage boys pointing at them and laughing.

Lost and the damned teenagers Beavis and Butt-Head were having a wonderful time as they explored the interior of this temple of Slaanesh. Slaanesh was cool!

"Uh ha ha ha ha, their gonna do it," Butt-Head said pointing at the Chaos Terminator with the Slaaneshi dominatrix sitting in his lap.

"We certainly are, do you have a problem with that boy?" The Terminator demanded angrily.

"Uh ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, he said their gonna do it," Beavis laughed hyperactively.

"Yeah, ha ha, she's gonna spank his monkey, uh ha ha ha ha," Butt-Head added.

The Chaos Terminator gently picked the Dominatrix up off his lap and placed her down softly on the leather bench. He then rose to his feet and flexed his massive armoured fists.

"I will spank YOUR monkeys you little punks!" The Terminator bellowed and proceeded to beat the teenagers to a pulp.

Beavis and Butt-Head twitched feebly on the floor as the Terminator and his latex clad lady friend relocated to a more private location to continue their intimacies.

"He ha ha ha, their gonna do it," Beavis chuckled from the floor.

"Uh ha ha, yeah, she's gonna spank his monkey uh ha ha ha, ha ha ha," Butt-head laughed from where he twitched on the floor.

Beavis and Butt-Head weakly got up off the floor, their bodies a mass of contusions. The Terminator had kicked their asses but hadn't broken anything.

The pair looked around themselves and immediately noticed a daemonette, with 6 pale white bare breasts, both arms ending in long chitinous claws and wearing only a loincloth.

"YES!" Beavis and Butt-Head shouted.

The pair approached the daemonette, giggling with anxious excitement, eyes open wide as they gazed at the topless Slaaneshi daemon.

"Hey baby," Butt-Head said huskily.

The daemonette hissed seductively and licked the air provocatively with an extremely long tongue, making the pair incredibly excited.

Beavis was too anxious and nervous to say anything to the daemonette directly, so Butt-Head did all the talking.

"Uh, you wanna do it?" Butt-Head asked in his best attempt at a sexy voice.

The daemonette nodded enthusiastically and used a claw to move aside it's skimpy loincloth to reveal an impressively large penis...

"Ugh!" Butt-Head exclaimed in revulsion.

"Ah, NO!" Beavis shouted in horror.

The daemonette moved closer, licking it's lips and the penis became erect.

"Uh! I looked at it!" Beavis exclaimed horrified.

"Ah get it away!" Butt-Head exclaimed in revulsion.

Beavis kicked the daemonette in the ball sack but it merely moaned orgasmically and kept advancing...

***

Beavis and Butt-Head tried their best to soothe their painful backsides as the daemonette sauntered off with a satisfied smile on its face.

The pair got up off the floor, gingerly holding their backsides.

"Did we just score?" Beavis asked uncertainly.

"Uh, yeah I guess so," Butt-Head said with equal uncertainty.

"We did? YES! We SCORED!" Beavis cheered jubilantly.

"Yeah, uh ha ha ha, we scored," Butt-Head celebrated.

"Let's go score again," Beavis enthused.

"Uh, this time let's score with an actual chick this time," Butt-Head amended with a shudder.

The pair rubbed the feeling back into their backsides and resumed exploring the temple.

***

"Mistress that TICKLES!" squealed a bound, skimpy lingerie clad, Slaanesh worshipping woman in the temple.

"Then LAUGH!" purred a second woman dressed as a maid, brushing the first woman with a feather duster.

Suddenly grating irritating laughter assaulted both women's ears and they looked around in dismay to see a pair of horny teenage boys gazing at them in excited fascination.

"We are having a private activity here, can I help you?" The woman dressed as a maid inquired unimpressed by the interruption.

"Uh ha ha ha, ha ha ha, she said "private", uh ha ha ha ha," Beavis exclaimed ecstatically.

"Uh ha ha, yeah, private, uh ha ha ha ha," Butt-Head agreed.

"Very funny, are you jesters here to entertain us?" The woman dressed as a maid asked sarcastically.

To the woman's surprise the pair started laughing uncontrollably.

"Uh ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha," Beavis laughed.

"Uh ha ha ha, she said "anus", uh ha ha ha," Butt-Head chuckled.

"No I didn't!" Exclaimed the irritated woman.

"Uh, yes you did, you said "jesters here to entert ANUS", uh ha ha ha ha ha ha," Beavis insisted.

"Yeah, uh ha ha, you said anus, ha ha," Butt-Head agreed.

"Do you boys even know who I AM?" the woman asked imperiously.

"A meter maid?" Beavis suggested.

"No fart knocker, she is just a regular maid," Butt-Head corrected him.

"No morons, I'm just wearing this as a costume you fools! I'm a favoured pleasure companion of the chaos lord and am the mother of his favourite bastard son," the woman told them threateningly.

"Uh ha ha ha ha, she said "bastard" Butt-Head! Uh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha," Beavis exclaimed with exuberant energy.

"That's ENOUGH!" The woman screamed.

The pair kept laughing so the woman calmly called out, "Augustus my dear son, would you please come here?"

A burly 9 foot tall Night Lords chaos space marine stomped over to the woman, his beady psychopath eyes filled with the devoted "mother's boy" love that is so prevalent in psychotic serial killers.

"Yes mother?" The intimidating giant asked in a shockingly deep and powerful voice.

"Hey Butt-Head, look it's the bastard! He he he he he ha ha ha ha," Beavis exclaimed with delighted giggles.

"Uh ha ha ha ha ha ha, he's a bastard, uh ha ha ha ha ha," Butt-Head laughed uproariously.

The terrifying giant man cracked his giant knuckles threateningly, taken aback that these two boys were so foolish as to mock him to his face about being a bastard.

The chaos space marine tried to say something but was cut off by their incessant laughter about the word "bastard".

"These boys are disturbing me and Wendy, please remove them from my presence beloved son," the woman told the massive psychopath sweetly.

"With pleasure Mother," he said with a psychotic grin.

***

Beavis and Butt-Head were lucky to still be alive the next day as they sat in the intensive care unit of the chaos battleship's crew hospital in full body casts. Most of the bones in their bodies were broken.

Beavis smiled and weakly said, "we scored."

Butt-Head smiled too and said, "yeah, we scored, we are awesome".

"I still want to do it with that meter maid chick," Beavis said with resolve.

"Yeah," Butt-Head agreed, "as soon as we get out of these casts let's go back again and do it with her."

Beavis thought that this was a really good idea.

***


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4(BB)

In a storm of heavy naval ordinance and scattered debris from blown up space ships, the mighty dark blue form of a Night Lords battleship blasted thermonuclear death at a mighty imperial battle fleet. Explosions ripped across the surface of the Night Lord's battleship killing thousands and enemy boarding craft were depositing lethal imperial boarding forces into the guts of the harried chaos warship.

Inside the chaos battleship sirens blared as the crew desperately mobilised to repel the enemy boarders and load the massive guns to fight off the imperial fleet closing in on them from all sides.

"All crew to your stations, all crew to your stations," an announcement ordered through the public announcement speakers in the ceiling of lost and the damned teenage crew members Beavis and Butt-Head's grimy apartment deep in the crew accommodation decks of the chaos battleship.

Beavis picked his nose as Butt-Head turned up the TV to drown out the background noise of sirens and announcements.

"Uh heh heh, um... Uh heh, are we supposed to be somewhere Butt-Head?" Beavis asked dimly.

"Uh... Is today the day Candy washes her panties?" Butt-Head asked.

"We stole all her panties yesterday," Beavis reminded him.

"Uh ha ha ha yeah. That was cool, uh ha ha ha, we took Candy's panties," Butt-Head laughed remembering.

"Heh heh heh heh, yeah, I sniffed them heh heh heh, they smelled like salmon and semen, heh heh heh, oh and they also smelled like yeast," Beavis said cheerfully.

"Uh ha ha ha, Candy is such a slut, uh ha ha ha, her panties were all wet, uh ha ha ha," Butt-Head added chuckling.

Beavis and Butt-Head looked at a grotty pile of cum stained dirty panties that they had stolen from the hamper of their hot busty Slaanesh worshipping nymphomaniac coworker Candy Johnson. The panties were all extremely slutty and stank terribly of the plethora of sexually transmitted diseases the hot sex addicted woman had caught.

The pair gazed in fascination at semen encrusted G strings, moist smelly ladies underpants and fluid soaked crotchless panties. 

"Uh heh heh heh look Butt-Head! A cockroach is eating the goop off the panties!" Beavis pointed excitedly.

"Uh ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha cool, uh ha ha ha," Butt-Head chuckled.

"Uh heh heh heh heh, eat the goop, heh heh eat it all heh heh heh," Beavis cheered the cockroach on.

"Uh ha ha ha, that goop came from Candy's pussy, ha ha ha," Butt-Head laughed.

Beavis laughed hyperactively as the sirens continued to desperately warn crew to go to their stations to save the ship.

"All crew brace for impact," a voice warned over the announcement.

Beavis and Butt-Head ignored the advice of the announcement and just kept giggling at the pile of panties.

A few moments later a massive torpedo impact rocked the entire battleship with a thermonuclear explosion and Beavis and Butt-Head were sent flying face first into the pile of pungent panties.

The pair coughed and spluttered as old semen made contact with their mouths.

"Ahhh!" Beavis screamed girlishly, spitting in disgust.

"Ugh!" Butt-Head exclaimed in shock and revulsion, also spitting.

The sounds of desperate gun battles between imperial navy voidsmen and chaos forces sounded in the hallway outside, but the pair still were far too stupid to notice that anything was amiss.

A wounded imperial navy man staggered into the apartment, desperately trying to push his intestines back in and he slumped down on their grimy couch. Beavis and Butt-Head blinked dimly from where they sat in the pile of Candy's undergarments, random G strings draped over their heads.

"Uhh... Cool," Butt-Head said as he watched the man continue to frantically push his guts back in.

"Heh heh heh, cool," Beavis added.

"I already said it was cool butt dumpling," Butt-Head countered.

"Shut up fart knocker!" Beavis said angrily.

The pair proceeded to have a juvenile punch up in the pile of underwear as the imperial navy man bled to death on their couch, his last moments spent in bewilderment at this pair of utter morons.

Beavis and Butt-Head's pet chaos spawn "Ball Spawn" (a pet they kept solely because it had 18 pairs of massive mutated testicles) poked the gruesome fanged snout on one of it's 3 heads out from under a pile of filthy rags it slept in and sniffed hungrily at the fresh dead body on the couch.

Beavis and Butt-Head stopped fighting and watched enthusiastically as Ball Spawn stripped all the meat off the body in mere minutes.

"Cool," Butt-Head said in appreciation as Ball Spawn gnawed on the bones.

"Uh heh heh, Ball Spawn is awesome, heh heh heh heh heh," Beavis giggled.

The sounds of battle in the hallway outside drew back and the hallway echoed with shouts of "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" to the complete oblivion of the pair.

"Uh ha ha ha ha ha, Ball Spawn is licking the blood off his balls, ha ha ha ha ha," Butt-Head snickered in delight.

"Uh heh heh yeah heh heh, he's licking his balls heh heh heh," Beavis laughed like this was the height of comedy.

The pair watched for a while, thoroughly entertained before Ball Spawn returned to his refuge under the pile of filthy rags.

"Um..." Beavis said feeling bored.

"Um... Uh ha ha, let's go steal Candy's bras this time, ha ha ha," Butt-Head chuckled with sudden inspiration.

The pair of chuckling moronic heretics got up and walked out the door, still covered in Candy's soiled G strings. The hallway outside was a complete war zone with wounded people on both sides moaning in agony as a terrible gun battle raged just 50 meters down the hall from them.

Khorne berserkers ran past Beavis and Butt-Head towards the fighting and stray bullets whizzed past the pair, missing them by inches.

"Um... Ha ha this is cool," Butt-Head said.

As one the pair started air guitaring death metal war songs "da-da da-da da-da da-da-da", throwing their heads back and forth as they rocked in this extremely inappropriate place.

"Here boys take my lasgun and continue the fight," gurgled a dying chaos cultist soldier, handing Beavis a lasgun.

"Heh heh, cool," Beavis said and took the lasgun.

The chaos cultist died and Beavis and Butt-Head looked at the violence all around them.

"What should we shoot?" Beavis asked.

"Uh... Ha ha let's shoot a space marine in the Butt," Butt-Head suggested jubilantly.

Beavis giggled hyperactively and took careful aim and pulled the trigger. A laser beam shot with pinpoint accuracy to hit the ass plate of a Khorne Berserker, burning a small hole in the armour but stopped by a successful armour save.

"Uh ha ha ha, you hit his butt, uh ha ha ha ha," Butt-Head chuckled.

"Heh heh heh yeah, I shot him right in the butt heh heh heh," Beavis laughed.

The pair then took it in turns shooting friendly chaos space marines in the asses even as a desperate and uncertain combat raged around them that the survival of the ship depended on. It didn't enter into their tiny minds to actually shoot at the enemy, instead wasting the entire power cell of the lasgun pissing off the Khorne Berserkers by shooting them in the asses.

"By the Blood God, what are you bozos doing!" roared the bewildered Berserkers as they desperately fought for their lives whilst being shot in the ass repeatedly.

Beavis and Butt-Head laughed delightedly and just kept shooting until they ran out of ammo.

"Uh, why isn't it working?" Butt-Head asked in disappointment when the lasgun stopped firing.

"This sucks! It sucks!" Beavis exclaimed angrily.

"It must be broken or something," Butt-Head said disappointedly.

Beavis picked his nose as gunfire continued to miss them by inches.

"Uh ha ha, let's go steal Candy's bras, ha ha ha," Butt-Head reminded Beavis.

"Heh heh heh yeah, heh heh heh," Beavis agreed.

The pair then simply wandered off away from the fighting without thinking to help wounded comrades or do anything else to aid in the critical battle.

The pair headed straight for Candy's apartment and walked inside. Inside they found Candy whimpering in terror under a table, afraid for her life.

"Beavis and Butt-Head? Thank Slaanesh! How goes the battle?" Candy asked frantically.

"There's a battle?" Beavis asked dimly.

"Cool," Butt-Head exclaimed.

Candy face palmed and asked, "why are you here?"

"Uh ha ha ha, we came to steal your bras, uh ha ha ha," Butt-Head told her.

"Heh heh yeah, give us all your bras Candy!" Beavis demanded, waving around the empty lasgun hyperactively.

Candy yelped in dismay, thinking they were robbing her at gun point, and fearfully took off her bra and threw it too them.

"BOOBS!" Beavis exclaimed ecstatically, eyes wide open.

"Ha ha woah cool!" Butt-Head said appreciatively.

Candy cowered fearfully and exposed her breasts to the pair, terrified that she was about to be shot if she didn't let them rape her.

"P-please don't hurt me," Candy whimpered terrified.

"Uh ha ha, come to Butt-Head," Butt-Head chuckled huskily.

Candy nodded fearfully and shakily crawled out from under the table, looking terribly afraid...

 

***...

The battle was now over and the ship had survived (no thanks to Beavis and Butt-Head) and had now disengaged to the safety of the warp space.

"We SCORED!" Beavis exclaimed triumphantly.

"Uh ha ha ha, I touched Candy with my thingy," Butt-Head chuckled proudly.

"Heh heh heh I put my thingy inside Candy heh heh heh," Beavis laughed happily.

"I hope it was worth it boys, you have the worst case of STD's I have ever seen, I may even need to amputate," the doctor in the crew hospital warned them.

"Heh heh heh we scored," Beavis laughed, oblivious to the peril his penis was now in from Candy's sexual diseases.

"Uh ha ha ha yeah, we are awesome," Butt-Head chuckled joyfully.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5(BB)

"Yes? This is the Chaos Lord, who dares to ring me on my personal Vox channel?"

(Sounds of farting and a toilet flushing echoes loudly through the Vox speakers)

"Uh ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha," Butt-Head laughed uproariously.

"Uh heh heh heh, let's ring someone else," Beavis said excitedly.

Chaos lost and the damned teenagers Beavis and Butthead chuckled moronically as they prank called yet more insanely dangerous powerful people in the Night Lords chaos fleet. The pair were standing in one of the filthy public crew toilet blocks onboard the chaos battleship, using a wall Vox phone to dial random people from the phone book.

The pair had already survived against all odds, surviving multiple near lethal beatings from outraged chaos space marines and having most recently recovered from a terrible case of STD's and only just avoiding needing their dicks amputated. Now they were back hard at work engaged in their latest ill advised endeavour which would likely result in their deaths - prank calling the most high ranking people they could find.

"Uh ha ha ha, let's try the daemon princess of Tzeentch," Butthead suggested.

An irritated cough sounded behind them and they turned around slowly to see the monstrous blue feathered form of TigerLily the ascended Daemon Princess of Tzeentch already standing behind them looking annoyed.

"Uh..." Butthead said uncertainly.

"The daemons of Tzeentch can read the strands of fate to see the future you morons. I already foresaw that you would prank call me and decided that I would pay you boys a visit," the Daemon told them in a dangerous tone.

"Uh, um... let's ring her up anyway," Beavis said dimly and dialled the number.

A small mobile phone in TigerLily's billowing white daemonic robes rang and TigerLily pulled it out and answered it. Beavis enthusiastically flushed the toilet and farted into his end of the phone, laughing hyperactively.

"Uh ha ha ha, ha ha ha, I just made TigerLily hear my fart, heh heh heh," Beavis said jubilantly.

"Uh..." Butthead said, looking at the annoyed daemon princess standing right next to them.

"Heh heh, hey TigerLily, do you like, get periods? Uh Heh heh heh," Beavis asked blatantly.

"Uh ha ha ha, I bet it's blue, ha ha ha," Butthead chuckled.

"You boys do realise the deadly peril you are in right now? Oh no of course you bozos don't." TigerLily said exasperatedly as the pair chuckled moronically.

"Uh heh heh heh let's call the chaos lord again!" Beavis exclaimed enthusiastically.

The daemon princess sighed with bemused exasperation as Beavis dialled the number yet again.

"Hello?! Who the fuck is this?! I will add your skulls to the skull throne you little punks!" The voice of the chaos lord bellowed through the phone.

The sound of the toilet flushing and farting was given in answer, followed by laughter from Beavis and Butthead until the chaos lord hung up in a rage.

TigerLily snorted and burst out laughing at the sheer cheek of the pair to so brazenly provoke the rage of their chaos lord like this.

***...

"Hello? This is Plague Marine Champion of Nurgle Brother Cocci, what is it?" 

(Fart noises followed by snickering sound through the phone)

"Ah, the sound of an E Colli imbalance in an unhealthy digestive system, music to my ears. Keep up the poor diet," the Plague Marine burbled joyfully.

("Uh... Shut up, you suck!" Followed by the sound of a toilet flushing).

"Who is this?" The champion of Nurgle demanded indignantly.

"This is, uh, Ben Derhover and I am with my friend Barry M'Dikkin", the voice on other end said.

"Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin?" Brother Cocci asked in a phlegmy voice.

He was answered only with moronic juvenile laughter until he hung up in a rage.

 

***...

 

"Hello? This is Augustus Antony, son of the chaos lord," 

("The chaos lord's last name is Sevenson, bastard")

The 9 foot tall giant roared with rage and shouted, "who the fuck is this! I will rip off your head and shove it up your arse!"

(Sound of a fart and a toilet flushing, followed by moronic laughter)

***...

Beavis and Butthead laughed uncontrollably as they hung up on yet another raging chaos space marine psychopath. They were having a wonderful time and had so far rung up 28 different extremely dangerous people.

TigerLily was trembling with laughter despite herself as she stood next to the pair, too mesmerised by their antics to intervene.

TigerLily's phone rang and she answered it, blinking away tears of laughter.

"Yes chaos lord? Uh huh, you want me to use my divination powers to locate two people named Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin?. Yes I will begin the divination at once chaos lord," TigerLily was heard saying, barely containing her own laughter.

TigerLily hung up and doubled over on the floor laughing.

"You boys had better go while you still can. I'm glad now that I decided not to kill you, I will be laughing about this all week," TigerLily told them through her peals of laughter.

Beavis and Butthead wandered out of the toilet block chuckling as public announcements demanded that anyone who knew the location of two people called Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin contact the chaos lord immediately, offered a huge cash reward. 

On every public display monitor was listed a dead or alive bounty notice for two unknown individuals named Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin, offering 10 thousand credits for each of them dead or 100 thousand credits each if captured alive to give the chaos lord the pleasure of killing them himself.

Beavis and Butthead walked straight past squads of outraged night lords space marines who were looking for "Ben and Barry", and safely made it back home.

They turned on the TV and immediately saw a breaking news demanding information about Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin. Beavis and Butthead laughed uncontrollably at the names.

"Uh ha ha ha ha, let's ring up the chaos lord again tomorrow," Butthead suggested.

"That's a really good idea Butthead," Beavis agreed, humbled by Butthead's wisdom.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6(BB)

 

"Oh Augustus, you are so naughty!" Giggled the hot young woman in bed with the son of the chaos lord.

 

The giant burly chaos space marine chuckled lustily in his shockingly deep voice, enjoying the girl's company in the girl's bedroom in her crappy apartment. 

 

The girl was a random floozy that Augustus had liked the look of, he had chatted her up and one thing had led to another. The room was meagre and had exposed sewerage pipes running along the walls that were rattling terribly, but the girl was so hot that Augustus didn't care.

 

"Oh Augustus, you do such dirty things to me," the girl giggled.

 

"Oh you ain't seen dirty yet girl, it's about to get REALLY dirty," Augustus chuckled lustfully.

 

The girl was giggling when the tell tail "clunk-clunk-clunk" of a bouncing frag grenade sounded inside the sewerage pipe next to the bed...

 

Chaos lost and the damned teenagers Beavis and Butthead laughed maniacally as fountains of water exploded out of every toilet in the public crew toilet block. On the floor next to them was a box of frag grenades they had stolen from the ship's armoury.

 

Off in the distance could be heard a deep voice roaring in outrage and revulsion.

 

"Uh ha ha ha, uh... The toilet is broken," Butthead said disappointedly.

 

All around them huge jets of water sprayed out of the ruined toilets, the Dark Mechanicum clearly had not designed the plumbing system with flushed frag grenades in mind.

 

"That SUCKS, it SUCKS!" Beavis lamented agitatedly.

 

"Yeah, let's go find something else to blow up, ha ha," Butthead said.

 

"Heh heh heh, you said "blow", heh heh heh," Beavis said as they walked out the door.

 

The pair wandered about aimlessly with the box of frag grenades as dismayed looking chaos plumbers scrambled past them in the walkways. The ship was in a sorry state of hygiene as always, with decomposing bodies littering the walkways and faded wanted posters for "Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin" hanging off the peeling paintwork of the rusty walls.

 

The pair were just getting bored when a phlegmy diseased voice behind them said, "what are you two idiots up to this time?"

 

Beavis and Butthead turned around and saw their Nurgle worshipping former classmate Diarrhoea Morgendorffer, a teenage girl wearing a dark snot green jacket and glasses.

 

"Uh heh heh, we found some frag grenades, heh heh," Beavis told her cheerfully.

 

"I see..." Diarrhoea said in a deadpan monotone.

 

"Uh ha ha, ha ha, your name is Diarrhoea, ha ha ha," Butthead laughed uproariously.

 

"That's rich coming from someone called Butthead," Diarrhoea pointed out.

 

"Uh, shut up, stupid Diarrhoea," Butthead retorted with a cutting riposte.

 

"Touché," Diarrhoea said dryly.

 

"Tushy? Ha-ha ha ha ha," Beavis laughed excitedly.

 

"Ha ha, yeah, ha ha, she said "tushy", ha ha ha," Butthead agreed laughing.

 

Diarrhoea didn't bother responding to this and just continued on her way to the temple of Nurgle.

 

"Heh heh, stupid Diarrhoea, heh heh," Beavis muttered.

 

A dim ember of thought flickered in Butthead's mind, secretly put their by a malicious Tzeentch psyker. Butthead chuckled and said, "ha ha, let's blow up Diarrhoea's temple, ha ha ha."

 

"Heh heh heh, the Temple of Tzeentch?" Beavis asked moronically.

 

"Ha ha, you said "Tzeentch", ha ha ha," Butthead said.

 

"Heh heh heh, yeah, heh heh heh, let's go blow up the temple of Tzeentch," Beavis said excitedly.

 

Flashing psychic words flashed in the air in front of them: NURGLE YOU MORONS, NURGLE!

 

The pair looked at the flashing floating words dimly with moronic uncomprehending eyes.

 

"Uh... it must be one of those commercials," Butthead suggested, misunderstanding the urgent flashing message.

 

"Heh heh, we're slashing prices! Everything must go! Heh heh," Beavis exclaimed hyperactively.

 

"Ha ha, yeah, they probably have a sale on tampons, ha ha ha," Butthead chuckled.

 

The pair walked resolutely with their box of grenades in the direction of the temple of Tzeentch, oblivious to the repeated urgent psychic light shows urging them to target the temple of Nurgle instead.

 

"There are naked chicks in the temple of Nurgle! Hot naked sluts who want to do it with you!" a psychic voice yelled in their minds.

 

Beavis and Butthead immediately stopped and the Tzeentch psykers continued to entice them to go to the temple of Nurgle, promising everything from free fireworks to naked chicks.

 

"YES!" Beavis and Butthead exclaimed jubilantly and ran off in the direction of the temple of Nurgle.

 

***...

 

"Yap yap yap, yap yap yap," barked a daemonic beast of Nurgle happily.

 

"Hear boy, go fetch,"

 

"Yap yap yap, yap yap SPLAT!"

 

"Heh heh, ha ha ha, heh heh that was cool," Beavis exclaimed with delight.

 

"Uh ha ha ha, frag grenades are awesome," Butthead agreed jubilantly.

 

The pair were standing inside the confusing maze-like interior of a putrid temple of Nurgle. The temple was huge and meandered around bends and up stairs to cover a large area of 5 different decks of the battleship interior. It was so big that the section they were in was pretty much deserted of actual people who might stop them setting off live frag grenades in the temple.

 

"Uh, where are all the naked chicks?" Beavis asked disappointedly.

 

"Uh... maybe they are somewhere else in the temple?" Butthead suggested.

 

"Um, oh yeah, heh heh," Beavis allowed.

 

"Ha ha ha, dude who cut the cheese?" Butthead said noticing the terrible smell inside the temple.

 

"Heh heh, it smells like your butt," Beavis agreed.

 

"Ha ha, it smells like teen spirit, ha ha ha," Butthead added.

 

The pair wandered up several flights of stairs, chuckling about farts and poop, and soon found themselves looking over a balcony down at a massive crowded temple room, with hundreds of worshippers gathered around a giant cauldron full of decomposing dead bodies floating in viscous diarrhoea.

 

"Heh heh heh, bombs away," Beavis said jubilantly as he threw a frag grenade down into the cauldron with a small splash. 

 

After the grenade failed to explode Beavis threw another in, and then another, until half the box was emptied into the cauldron with still no explosions.

 

"This suck! The grenades are broken," Beavis lamented bitterly.

 

"Uh, did you pull the pin?" Butthead asked.

 

"Oh yeah..." Beavis remembered.

 

"Ha ha, you dumb ass," Butthead mocked him.

 

Beavis chuckled and made sure that he pulled the pin this time before tossing a grenade down into the cauldron.

 

With a colossal BANG, all the frag grenades in the bottom of the cauldron were detonated by the explosion of the last grenade and the entire putrid contents of the cauldron blasted out of the top of the cauldron and sprayed all over the dismayed Nurgle worshippers. Beavis and Butthead chuckled as pandemonium reined in the temple down below.

 

***...

 

"Ah, that should do it, the plumbing is all fixed now," a plumber told Augustus with a sigh of relief.

 

In the decks above could be heard the sound of the toilet flushing. The pipe rattled but didn't leak and everything was in order.

 

"See, all working," the plumber said happily.

Augustus and his floozy were just thanking the plumber when another toilet in the decks above flushed, followed by a "clunk clunk clunk" noise. Augustus felt a sinking feeling a moment before the pipe exploded with a BANG, soaking them all in an uncontrollable jet of liquid human waste.

 

"I will find these fuckers! If it's the last thing I do I will find them and I will kill them!" Augustus vowed as sewerage jetted all over him in a torrent.

 

***


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7(BB)

 

The atmosphere was hot and grim on the engineering main deck of the chaos battleship. Tech priests of the dark Mechanicum scurried around frantically and chaos slaves whimpered under the lash as vicious overseers forced them to work faster in the sweltering heat. The entire ship was overheating badly and if something wasn't done soon then everyone would be cooked alive in the rising heat. The situation was so grim that the chaos lord himself had gone down to engineering to take stock of the situation.

 

"What happened?" The Chaos Lord asked the chief tech priest.

 

"It is grim my Lord," said the nightmarish conglomeration of flesh and metal that was the tech priest, "the primary cooling system is destroyed, as are the secondary systems. Some maniac seems to have thrown a melta bomb into maintenance junction 28 Pi Alpha where all the pipes of the various cooling systems meet. The melta bomb vaporised all the pipes and flooded the junction with super heated liquid coolant, we can't get near the junction, the metal is still partially molten."

 

The chaos lord grumbled at this, there had been a lot of acts of similar sabotage on his ship lately. 

 

"It's those little fuckers Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin! It has to be them Dad!" The Chaos Lord's bastard son Augustus exclaimed angrily.

 

The chaos lord was inclined to agree, a pair of delinquents calling themselves Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin had been causing no end of havoc on the ship. Whoever they were they were clearly fiendish diabolical geniuses, able to escape from his wrath time and again, even the Tzeentch psykers couldn't divine their location nor describe what they looked like.

 

The chaos lord was about to speak when moronic laughter filled the room. He turned to see the pair of imbeciles Beavis and Butthead pointing at the chief tech priest and laughing.

 

"Ha ha ha, he has no wiener, he he he," Beavis said pointing at the naked tech priest, who was little more than half a human torso and head covered in bare machinery. He had mechanical legs and pelvis, and had indeed done away with the "unnecessary" private parts.

 

"Uh ha ha ha, ha ha ha yeah, he has no thingy," Butthead agreed.

 

"What are you little punks doing here?" The chaos lord's son Augustus demanded irritatedly.

 

"Um, we're looking for nachos," Beavis replied cheerfully.

 

"Uh, yeah, we're having a hunger, uh ha ha ha," Butthead added, in a voice that suggested that the word "hunger" was sexually suggestive in some way.

 

Augustus went to beat them up but the chaos lord stopped him and asked the pair if they knew anyone called "Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin". 

 

The pair exploded with laughter at the names, the way they found amusement in so many things, and the chaos lord sighed. These morons clearly wouldn't know the identity of the diabolical geniuses who had caused so much havoc lately. He let the chuckling simpletons continue on their way unharmed, not even entertaining the notion that they could be the ones responsible.

 

***...

 

Lost and the damned teenagers Beavis and Butthead chuckled incessantly as they walked out of the engineering decks. They had recently set off an awesome melta bomb in a room full of huge hot pipes and the resulting thermonuclear explosion had been really cool!

 

"Uh huh huh, melta bombs are cool," Beavis philosophised wisely.

 

"Yeah, pity we don't have another one," Butthead said disappointedly.

 

The pair continued on, muttering to each other in a highly intelligent and enlightened way, agreeing in no uncertain terms that thermonuclear explosions were indeed the absolute height of cool. The ship was getting hotter at an alarming rate.

 

"Damn it's hot! I swear that I must strip down before I roast!" Said a woman's voice.

 

Beavis and Butthead stopped dead in their tracks and turned around to see their busty coworker Candy leaning her mop against a wall and stripping out of her filthy work overalls.

 

"Woah!" Butthead said, eyes wide with excitement.

 

"Heh heh, boy-oy-oy-oy-oing," Beavis added excitedly as Candy stripped down to her extremely slutty Slaaneshi underwear, little more than bits of string with only just enough fabric attached to provide support for her large breasts.

 

"Oh Slaanesh, not you two morons again!" Candy said exasperatedly when she noticed them.

 

"Heh heh, hey how's it going?" Beavis asked her.

 

"Hey baby," Butthead added.

 

"Stay away from me you fucking rapists!" Candy snapped angrily at them.

 

"Uh, rapists? Ha ha, those are those guys that like do it with chicks even if they don't want to do it," Butthead chuckled.

 

"Really? Heh heh, that's awesome! I just want to do it with every chick, but they keep saying no! Damn it I want to be a rapist too! Then I could like, do it with any chick I liked!" Beavis exclaimed agitatedly.

 

"Yeah, rapists are cool. We should like find some rapists and join them, then we could be rapists too," Butthead suggested.

 

Candy face palmed in disgust and said, "you morons ARE rapists! You held me at gun point and forced me to have sex with you to avoid being shot!"

 

"Um uh, that was cool, heh heh, but our lasgun is broken, it stopped working like just before we did it with you, heh heh, we couldn't have shot you even if we wanted to," Beavis announced cheerfully.

 

Candy gasped in disbelief and slapped herself for being stupid enough to have fallen for the bluff and slept with the pair. She should have known that those imbeciles were completely harmless and saved herself a lot of therapy afterwards to get over the "rape"!

 

"Ha ha, she said that we are rapists Beavis," Butthead exclaimed.

 

"Hah ha, yeah, YEAH! We're rapists! Yes! Now we can score again and again!" Beavis celebrated jubilantly.

 

"Ha ha, hey Candy, I'm going to rape you now," Butthead announced huskily.

 

"Yeah, yeah, me too! I'm going to rape you Candy!" Beavis agreed excitedly.

 

Candy picked up her mop and proceeded to beat the complete crap out of the would be rapists, before then ramming the mop handle up both their asses to let them see what being raped felt like.

 

The pair of them twitched feebly on the floor as Candy walked off to clean another walkway, coughing and groaning in pain.

 

***...

 

"Hey baby, we're rapists, we're gonna rape you ha ha" Butthead said enthusiastically.

 

A moment later Butthead cried out in pain as his intended victim had other ideas.

 

"Heh heh, you wussy, even as a rapist you can't score," Beavis mocked him.

 

Butthead wanted to threaten to kick Beavis's ass but he was in too much pain and simply lay on the floor clutching his bruised testicles.

 

The pair were a mass of black eyes and bruises. Out of all of the dumb methods they had ever tried to pick up women, walking up to irritated overheated women who were sweating in their underwear and boldly announcing themselves as rapist who were going to rape the women was one of the most unwise ideas they had ever tried. Every woman without exception had attacked them, as had everyone else in earshot of the conversations and the pair were extremely lucky to still be alive.

 

Butthead painfully sat up and got to his feet. His clothing was soaked with sweat but he was too stupid to take it off. The ship was by now unbearably hot with the primary and secondary cooling systems for the massive nuclear reactor core destroyed and it was getting steadily hotter. Butthead's vision swam in the heat and he fell down again, it really sucked.

 

Beavis himself was also clearly seriously overheated but lacked the sense to take off his clothes to cool down. He was drenched in sweat, dehydrated and starting to shake violently with deranged energy. 

 

"Uh, are you ok Beavis?" Butthead asked in vague concern.

 

"Hahaha, jib-ba-caca! Wa-ya-titi!" Beavis exclaimed insanely.

 

"Uh, what? Ha ha ha," Butthead asked.

 

Beavis suddenly pulled his sweaty shirt over his head and screamed, "I AM THE GREAT KHORNE-HOLIO! I NEED TP FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"

 

"What the hell are you talking about Beavis?" Butthead asked.

 

"Are you threatening me? No one shall defy the will of my almighty bunghole!" Beavis exclaimed and violently kicked Butthead repeatedly in the face until he fell unconscious.

 

"My bunghole it goes wa-cha-ba-blah-wa-fa-blub-blog-fog-wahaha-blub-blub-blub! All shall bow down to the almighty Blood God, and to my bunghole!" Beavis proclaimed and walked off to fulfil his destiny.

 

Now the universe would fear the wrath of the almighty bunghole of Khorne-Holio!

 

*to be continued*


End file.
